March, Pause! I still have things I want to do..
Somehow it's already March and more than a month has gone by with so few updates that I feel like kicking myself! So in the words of Lynae Vanee “I’m going to keep this brief, but keep it black”
While I have your attention there is a new Video on my youtube and another on the way! So hold the applause and go watch that video asap! I am not above asking for views and comments from anyone following me. So go over there and watch my videos
Ok back to the regularly scheduled nonsense on how much time has passed. On one hand I have completed my 3rd and hopefully final round of IVF, uploaded another video to Youtube (please watch), went on a second hand shopping rampage via eBay to purchase one too many vintage Pendleton skirts, and posted a video collab with Dandy Wellington on Instagram. Yet I still feel like my Quarter 1 goals are far from being completed. The many projects I wanted done, like finalizing 2 patterns when 1 is barely on the way, using my knitting machine for just about anything other than a pretty decoration in my office, and my goal of dedicating 1 hour a day to my craft of choice. It’s like making any goals have become laughable when life is really doing its damndest to keep me busy, distracted, and lacking in the creative department.
But in the midst of all the things there are to despair over, I can still find moments of joy that make life worth living. Like spending time with my friends, getting to know my neighbors more, and finally starting to romanticize my neighborhood after moving here 5 years ago. It’s farfetched, but it really has taken me this long to start liking living here. It pushed me out of my comfort zone in many ways and one of those is no longer being in a majority Caribbean neighborhood where certain aspects of life just clicked. Still making the time to dedicate to my craft is a growing pain that I refuse to let fizzle out as difficult as it is working well into the evening some nights.
That being said, there are still just under 10 months remaining in this year. Do still plan on sticking to my 1 hour of creative time a day and challenge myself to 1 week of miniature watercolors this month
Now I just need to get comfortable with posting more. Like how do you do that? At what point do you let go of the hubris of thinking you are too good to do something, while also recognizing that it's probably not because you feel too good to do something but the fear of showing the world a vulnerability of yourself that even you barely expose to those closest to you. That hardened sense of self is difficult to give up. But ya girl is trying, whew!
